Tuesday, April 17, 2007


So since the last time I posted, I have become disgusted by dolphins. Whenever I see a photo of one, on a billboard, say, touting the innocence of children or the wonders of nature, all I can think about is some dude with a ponytail and a boner in a cove rubbing some dolphins' rubbery belly. Dolphins seem disgustingly sexual, like how I feel when I remember the drama club or I contemplate the furry phenomenon. I suppose in theory I support mutual consensual everything, but on a visceral level, it all just creeps me out. Like some dude with a cape on.

Instead, I have a new hairstyle. While trying to teach my friend Heidi how to change between D and E chords on the guitar, I realized that some part of me, essentially, is Eastern European. I have cramps and I smoke in bed*. I eat cold, leftover gefelte fish and I use vicks vaporub on a daily basis. While giving guitar lessons in my bedroom, I not-too-discreetly give a vigorous scratch to my crotch. I wear white eyeliner. I am YELENA.

My favorite part of this new hairstyle is the bald spot on the left side:

She's just all about fun, really.

*Just in case you're not getting this, these things are not true for Susanna, although they are true for Yelena.

1 comment:

Tristy T. said...

As an actual daughter of an Eastern European American (Lithuanian), I am filled with great joy in looking at your photos. The side ponytail/braid also has the essence of the 80's as well, and the bald spot ties it all together.

I used to fight my Eastern European aspects. For example, my giant legs. Yes, they are muscular and strong, but that's not sexy on a lady, is it?

Since marrying a StrongMan, I have a new appreciation for strength. I take great solace that the strongest man in the world is Lithuanian (Zydrunus Savickas). We are built to pull plows in snow storms. These are my people!

I love you Susanna! Don't forget to take the gefilte fish out of the freezer!