Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Annals of Susanna, Volume 1995

And now a selection from the diary of 15-year-old goody-goody Susanna!
April 7th, 1995
I broke the law! Not really. Today I went out with Tina [my best friend] and we went over to her rich 18-year-old, owning-his-own-house Boyfriend's house. She let me drive her mom's car and since Travis [Tina's boyfriend] was in the car it was legal. My parents just would not approve of it. The way I see it is, there's lots of rules. I follow most of them. If I followed all of them I'd get tired of it and rebel so it's okay to raise a little hell ever so often so you don't die of boredom. As long as you don't hurt anybody, it's okay. [Was I Dutch?]

All of the sudden I feel really guilty that I betrayed my parents' trust of me [here comes Mormon Susanna] I'm thinking maybe I should tell them---nah. They'll just get mad and overreact. I guess I just better not do that anymore. What if I'd gotten in a wreck? It ain't all good.

Last night I was talking to Shane [my boyfriend] and someone called for my Dad and I asked him if he wanted me to call him back and he said sure. My Dad didn't get off the phone till 10:15 and he can't have calls past 10:30 (on non-school nights). I'm kinda sick and I was tired so I just went to bed. He was so cool about it though. He said he was actually kinda glad because he want to bed at 10:00. The sweet little thing is definitely in bed right now (11:30). Who knows, maybe he's dreaming of me. I love to lay in bed at night and think about him and wonder if he's thinking about me at the same time. He's such a good boyfriend. He treats me so much better than John [my boyfriend from two years before this, whom I broke up with because he slept with two other girls and I had only hugged him, once] ever did. Today I was thinking about the crap I used to put up with from him and it makes me sick. I was so naive. Shane is so nice. He would never go two weeks w/o calling me. I don't think he'd cheat on me. Me being older [I was six months older!] has a lot to do w/it. He's like "Wow, an older woman!" Tomorrow I'm going over to his house for dinner and then we're going to watch a movie. It would be so dang nice if he'd kiss me. If he doesn't, oh well. I like to just hold his hand. They're so soft and not really sweaty anymore.

I [heart] Shane
Susanna

Awwww....I just browsed ahead and the next night, after the credits were rolling for Stargate, I macked him. It was my first kiss, too. Looks like I was a bit disappointed:

"It kinda stunk. It was like squidish."


Surely I adapted, as I kept on making out with Shane for the next six months until his balls were so blue he went and dated a girl known to have already done it. I, on the other hand, maintained the law of chastity until I just couldn't damn take it anymore. But that took a lot longer than six months.

* * *
Now I love squid, especially The Giant Squid. They're sixty feet long; their eyes are 8 feet across. They have giant, powerful mouths that eat sharks and small boats. Are you fucking ready for that!?!? They live so far down and in such darkness that no one had ever seen one alive until last year, when a whole team of Japanese scientists finally nabbed a photo. Until then, we'd just found bits and pieces of the 40 foot long tentacles that washed ashore. The tentacles would be lashed and scarred from battles with great white sharks! Holy fucking shit!!! I *love* giant animals that can eat you just out curiosity!






1 comment:

Chris said...

THE GIANT SQUID ARE HERE. (And likely, delicious.) = http://cbs13.com/topstories/local_story_092231413.html