Instead, I have a new hairstyle. While trying to teach my friend Heidi how to change between D and E chords on the guitar, I realized that some part of me, essentially, is Eastern European. I have cramps and I smoke in bed*. I eat cold, leftover gefelte fish and I use vicks vaporub on a daily basis. While giving guitar lessons in my bedroom, I not-too-discreetly give a vigorous scratch to my crotch. I wear white eyeliner. I am YELENA.
She's just all about fun, really.
*Just in case you're not getting this, these things are not true for Susanna, although they are true for Yelena.