MAMA

Well, this blog is sort of officially on hiatus until I finish my papers, but my brother posted this today to his blog and I was just so damn inspired:

My Mom is awesome. I reiterate, my mom=awesome. Here's a list of why I think she's awesome, updated from years past.

#1 For not giving me Fetal Alcohol Syndome
#2 For knowing my father´s name
#3 For never wringing my neck in spite of her repeated threats
#4 For having taught me that being racist is a bad thing
#5 For teaching me to say "sir" and "ma'am" after I say "yes" or "no
#6 For dropping out of college for 19 years to raise me
#7 For giving me an oatmeal bath when I was 16 & delirious from a chicken pox 104.7F fever.
#8 For letting my kids call her "Lala" instead of "grandma"
#9 For being an artist and not caring what others think about her
#10 For never saying anything negative about my wife. Ever.
#11 For being there with me when Dad died.
#12 For never making me post bond to get her out of jail
#13 For letting me go to Canada with my best friend for the Summer when I was 16
#14 For drawing a huge picture of my daughter and me at Mardi Gras 2004
#15 For Keeping my cat Paisley alive for 17 long years
#16 For that big scar across her belly where they excavated me from her blessed womb
#17 For calling me "Mac". I have a great nickname
#18 For teaching me to read before I went to public school
#19 For letting me fail on occasion
#20 For telling me I should be an organ donor
#21 For being Southern
and the most important thing is:
#22 THANK YOU FOR NOT HOMESCHOOLING ME! This one should be self-explanatory.


I agree!
And I'd like to add a few more:

#1 For dressing up like a chicken with elaborately-made, beautiful papier-mache wings for the church talent show, running around the stage to some famous piece of classical music while she squawked, and at the very end, laying an egg. THIS WAS BEFORE BJORK WORE THIS DRESS TO THE OSCARS:


#2 For coming out of a gas station in Savannah GA and, upon realizing that my Dad was the person blasting Jimi Hendrix, head banging completely seriously all the way to the car.

#3 For telling my girlfriends in high school not to worry about being fat because "when you get in bed, all they care about is that you're a woman."

#4 For not cutting her hair short and not letting me do it either...ever.

#5 For taking me to Walgreens and buying me a hand vacuum and face lotion and light bulbs and other things I thought I didn't need because they were symptoms of bourgeois excess. For snapping me out of hyper-political self-denial phase.

#6 For knowing more about technology than I do. For sending me my first text message. For having an iPod years before me.

#7 For giving me her copy of Joni Mitchell's Blue as an adult even after I made fun of Joni through my whole adolescence

#8 For spending more money at the arcade when I brought my friend along whose family was poor

#9 For liking "british crap" or 19th century novels made into movies

#10 For listening to Alanis Morrissette's SECOND album for an entire day when I drove back from Utah to Georgia. Not even her first album, THE SECOND ALBUM!

#11 For letting me rub her feet once

#12 For going to the dollar movie with me in 1990 to see some movie I don't even remember and then walking out and, on a whim, walking back in to see Edward Scissorhands.

#13 For driving me half an hour to and from work five times a week at Whitewater when I was 15.

#14 For being nice to all my boyfriends.

#15 For beginning the birds and bees talk by saying "Have you ever seen two dolphins swimming side by side?"

#16 For never wearing swishy suits, jeweled sweaters, or gold shoes.

#17 For building fires for years and years and years

#18 For teaching me how to love people

#19 For watching Beaches with me when I was a little girl and crying and crying and crying.

Nineteen is her lucky number.

[I'll be back in 10 days]